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Your Prayers
Well, today totally sucked. It was freezing, I nearly failed a test, tomorrow there is another test and there is this group of people who keep asking me to join them. Bloody hell, I want to be left alone, not part of some damn clique. If you don't like the way I wander around the school grounds during recess alone then too bad for you. Argh!
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:46 AMÃÂ
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Today, someone asked me, "Darryl, would you go out with Erica?" I was like, "WTF?" I just stared blankly at the one who asked, hoping that she was joking. Then, the girl standing next to me answered on my behalf, "No, he can't go with her cuz he's with me!" I laughed so hard I might have had a seizure. When I regained my composure, they still wanted an answer, so I rolled up my eyes and gave them a lovely view of the white of my eyes. That freaked them out so much they forgot the question. Throughout all this, the only one who looked as uncofortable as I was was Erica. God, give me understanding of women. I am seriously confused.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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9:32 PMÃÂ
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My brain apparently shut down for maintenance today. I had planned to do more studying but My mind was screaming 'NO!'. I was tired and listless all day. Anything I would ahve read would have been forgotten in an instant. Hope this doesn't continue cuz I have SO much to read up on. Argh.........
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:09 PMÃÂ
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Studied a bit today. Finished my homework. Downloaded TONS of music scores. Yay. Finally got the score for A One Winged Angel and Sen No Kotoba, among others. Happy. Only one thing could make it better. Performing them in school. One and a half years more...
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:57 PMÃÂ
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Had calculus test. Think I failed. So did the rest of the class apparently. Still, I have GOT to work harder. Gonna study a LOT in the coming weekend. Something I have not done since I was ten. Must...get...90...%...at...least...High hopes? Yeah, I agree, but they aren't impossible.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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7:52 PMÃÂ
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Had econs test. Think I did crapadelically. For the first part i didnt know and for the second part I am not completely sure. Physics test has been moved to next Wednesday but there is still intro calc. Had a lot of fun today freaking people out by doing my wierd eye thing where they just fly up so you can only see the white of my eye.Their reactions were so funny. Humans are such hilarious creatures...
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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7:03 PMÃÂ
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Got my chem results back. 29/40. Crapadelic. Got an econs test tomorrow and a calculus and a physics test an Friday. Haven't studied for any of them. My life is just soooooooo fantastic.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:34 PMÃÂ
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And again my brain doesn't seem to be functioning. Everyday I come home and I just cant study. Now I know what cramming is like. Cut my thumb and grazed my arm today. No pain. Almost as if I'm in a dream. A dream that will soon end. If only...
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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9:39 PMÃÂ
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My mind totally did not work today. It was like I was in a dream. Like my brain suddenly decided to shut down. I got my worst score for math ever. 21/28. Bloody hell. Could have gotten full marks, but my brain isn't bloody working. Oh well.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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7:32 PMÃÂ
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Nothing happened today. MY LIFE IS BORING!!!
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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7:12 PMÃÂ
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Was out of the house all damn day. Slept in the car three times. Went go-carting. Lapped my brother five times. Fun. Thats all. The rest of the time I was asleep.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:02 PMÃÂ
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Had two tests today, neither of which I studied for. Nothing that I'm gonna get full marks for. As usual, I don't care. This time however, my apathy is well grounded. All of the topic tests put together account for 3% of my final grade. See now why I can afford not to care?
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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7:31 PMÃÂ
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Had chem test today. Don't know how I did. Tomorrow I got geo&trig and physics. Oh joy. Have I studied? Nope!
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:13 PMÃÂ
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Nothing much happened today cept for the fact that it rained. Weather forecast said there would be a massive storm. I expected a gale. I got a 10 minute shower. Apparently thats what passes for a storm in this country. Damn. I was hoping for more rain. Oh well....
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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7:51 PMÃÂ
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Once again, I have nothing to say at all. The day passed without incident. Wow I have a boring life
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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4:50 AMÃÂ
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My father came back a short while after I made that previous post, just that I was too lazy to bother posting again. When I woke up, they were ok again, no trace of anger. If only the world was like that. No. I don't want the world to be like that. I don't want the world to argue at all.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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9:02 PMÃÂ
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Two in one day? Yeah. I just had to say this. My parents had a big fight. Now my father has left. Where he is, I'm not sure. Bloody hell. Where is he dammit! God, please bring him home. Please change his heart. Please.........
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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9:59 PMÃÂ
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Went to church for the second time since coming here. The pastor was good. One of the few times I did not feel like sleeping in the middle of the sermon. After that we went to a market and one of the stalls sold so-called religious material. One of their cross designs had a yin-yang symbol in the middle of it. Does that seem right to anyone? There was also this wierd prayer for safe driving. "Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly." Ok..........
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:38 PMÃÂ
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Well, my life continues to be devoid of anything to say. Nothing interesting, nothing worth saying. At all. Oh well, maybe tomorrow....
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:08 PMÃÂ
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Life has settled into its usal pace. I am bored most of the time, but the curriculum seems ok. My brain is actually receiving stimulation. Hooray. Not a day goes by without me being cornered and asked how I think year 11 is. I am famous in this school and, quite frankly, I hate it. I have never understood people who seek fame, and now more than ever I think they are nuts. Oh well, I'm sure the novelty will wear off eventually.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:14 PMÃÂ
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First of, let me apologise for not going online and not blogging yesterday. I had a perfectly good excuse. Internet was down. All night I couldn't access any sites. At all. Very sorry 'bout that. Anyway, enough with the past, Now to get down to the present. Today was a good day for my Singaporean spirit. First, I finally met a guy in school who speaks singlish. Secondly, I come home and my parents are throwing around rascism 'bout the Malays and the Indians. I HAVE NOT HEARD A RASCIST COMMENT FOR SO LONG. Joy. The one comment that really melted my heart was one made by my father's friend as he complained about some idiot insctuctor. "Wah-lao, bloody chao-indian!" Happiness. Best day I've had so far. Reminded of home. The place to which my heart belongs.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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9:57 PMÃÂ
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Got a lot to catch up on. Didn't know a thing in chem today. I'm studying for math first. Trying to get at least one thing right.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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10:42 PMÃÂ
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One minute I am among possibly the most slacking school system in the world, Next minute I am thrust into a higher level where I don't understand a thing. At all. That might be because of the one term that I missed. The teachers are giving me some time to adjust, which is a good thing. Still, I am quite confused. I read through in 80 mins what it took them more than a week to cover for Econs. As a result, my head is quite full. I realize why I've never done last minute cramming before. My brain totally shut down after that lesson. I couldn't do math. I spent most of my day philosophising about our society and how it emphasises the physical. I also I like it yet. I need some time to adjust.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:26 PMÃÂ
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Found nothing more to gripe about today. My parents seem to have forgotten their argument. If only life was like that. You argue and then tomorrow its all forgotten. No grudges. No pain. If only.......
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:30 PMÃÂ
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My parents had an argument today. I heard every single word. I tried and tried to screen them out, to not give a damn, but I couldn't. Inside me a sadness and grief started to well up inside me. I thought it ended and heard my mom rushing up the stairs to where my brother and I were. I saw her face and rushed up to give her a hug.And then it happened. I cried. I have not cried since my great-grandmother passed away. I have never cried like this. The salt clung to my eyes, stinging them, but I did not care. I just continued. For at least five minutes. For those of you who don't know, I don't cry easily. At least, not when I'm the one in pain. Here were my parents arguing and I just couldn't take it. I bent over, tears streaming down my face and prayed. I did not utter many words, in fact the entire prayer was over in less than two minutes, but in that two minutes I managed to cover evryone who was close to my heart. God does not need my words to know how I feel. I wish I could say the same of me. Somehow, I know what it is like to do things I have never experienced. I knew what the sea was like before I even saw it. I know how it would feel to be characters in manga strips. I know what it would feel like to have the elements at my beck and call. Yet, I found the one thing that I will never be able to comprehend. Jesus. Today I felt sadness born of love. The sadness of one boy born out of love for his parents. And that sadness nearly killed me. It was the worst I have ever felt. Then I realized how insignificant it was compared to Jesus' pain. He loved the world. He died for the world. He died shouldering the grief and sin of everyone who was before him, everyone who was then, and everyone who was to come after him. And here I was. Faced with the grief of two people. And it nearly killed me. Now I realize just how small and weak I am. I did not even know what they really felt and He did. I know how insignificant I am. And yet, He finds me worthy of His love. I don't deserve it. This is what makes me me. This unconditional love gives me strength to love others. Without it, I wouldn't exist. Now I feel a lot better. I want to help others. I want to ease thier pain.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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9:21 PMÃÂ
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Totally did not engage my brain today. Got my timetable and book list so yay. Books here are bleedin' expensive though. For drama, teacher asked us to design a set. I'm no longer taking drama so I asked if I had to. She said it was either i do it for fun or I clean out the understudy. Guess which one I took. Spent the next 80mins clearing up the clothes that were lying all over the damn place. Tried a couple on too. One of them made me look like a friggin' pimp. After a while, a couple of guys came in under the pretext of looking for stuff. They then started to set things on fire with the help of some hair spray. Such juvenile idiotism.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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7:56 PMÃÂ
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Now its really official. I am definetely moving up to year 11 next week. My subject choices are Geometry and Trigonometry, Introductory Calculus, Physics, Chemistry, English and Economics. No bio sadly, as I had a choice of either geo & trig or bio and I like math more than science. Also, their bio is pretty wierd, all about ecosystems and stuff. Things that I've already learned. First thing that was said to me when I got dropped off to school was "Darryl, is it true you're going to year 11?" I just sighed in a defeated manner and said, "Does the whole world know?" Argh. Found the most bimbotic girl in school. She was insulting me so I cursed her in hokkien. After that I sorta gave up. These people are insufferable. I'm quite sick of it. Wish I was back home..........DAMMIT!!!!!!!
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:23 PMÃÂ
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I'm moving to year 11 next week. Hooray. Also, no jerks to piss me off today. Today is the happiest day since I came here. Not that that means a lot. My thoughts are filled with home and my friends. "Home is where the heart is". No kidding. Whoever said that is a genius. "There are many kinds of angels. Guardians, the Seraphim, Cherubim...also, there is another kind that I have personally had the pleasure of meeting. Angels who walk the Earth. I call them friends." The guy who said that isn't a genius. I know because I'm the one who said that. Sephiroth has gone back to sleep. That's one good thing. Hooray.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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9:13 AMÃÂ
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Had first PE lesson today. The guys are bloody juveniles. Not all of them of course, just a couple. One of them puuled my pants down. Friggin' git. Was bored shitless once again today. Sephiroth and I have reached a stalemate. Thats it.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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9:44 PMÃÂ
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It's official. I'm entering year 11 ASAP. Once they get my timetable and all that stuff I will go to year 11. Until then, I'm stuck in the year 9 class. That sucks. Remember how I said that I got pelted with paper? It happened again. This time, however, it was plaster. And big stacks of notes. I didn't say a thing this time. What's the point? Those idiots would just have continued on anyway.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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8:30 PMÃÂ
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It is official. I am gonna skip to at least year 11. That's sec 4. Now, just to tell you, that is not amazing. Every other asian from abroad skips years when they come here. To quote my mom, "This is a nation of mediocrity. What's worse is that they are so proud of what they are like." Yup. My dad succeeded in fixing up our internet connection where a so-called "com guru" failed, so it really is not that big a deal that I'm skipping ahead by three years. For my age, I should be in year 8. Another thing about the people here is that they age very quickly. 40 year olds look 60. There are some kids in my school who look like they are in their twenties. The only thing that marks them as students is the uniform. Emotions are tearing me apart right now. I am confused.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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10:20 PMÃÂ
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