[[ ` for y0[u] are * w[i]th me ]]

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Party

Had one today. Pretty boring mostly, cept that I got to play piano a lot. We are gonna complain to the landlord cuz our house is falling apart. I'm not kidding. A mantelpiece fell down today for no apparent reason. No one got hurt, luckily. The roof is leaking as well. I was pretty happy today cuz it rained for like 6 hours today. Striaght. There is nothing like rain to uplift my spirit. Found out today that I can do DIY. Hooray. Nothing else happened.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 10:20 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Friday, April 29, 2005

Whoop-de-do

Best day so far. First off, it's Friday so I get to escape from school. Second, I got to go off early from school cuz my dad had a parade I had to attend. Third, I got to use a flight simulator. A real one. One that costs 21 million. No kid. It was pretty fun, though I did crash twice. Anyway, apart from that, my life is still crappy. School is boring as all hell and my mom and teacher are thinking of putting me in the year 11 math class. Thats sec 4. All day long I have been singing in foriegn languges. In doing so I found that I am the only one who speaks mandarin. One song has been going on and on in my head lately. 'One Winged Angel', a latin song.
Estuans interius ira vehementi
Estuans interius ira vehementi
Sephiroth
Sephiroth

Estuans interius ira vehementi
Estuans interius ira vehementi
Sephiroth
Sephiroth

Sors imanis
Et innanis
Sors imanis
Et innanis

Veni veni venias
Neme mori facias
Veni veni venias
Neme mori facias

The first line desribes my quite well. Estuans interius ira vehementi. Burning inside with violent anger.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 7:50 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Bad day

Had science today. We did food webs. FOOD WEBS!!! I have never felt that my time has been wasted more so than the past two days. Art was fun though. Horror of horrors, I left something in school. Guess what. A MAHJONG SET!!! I brought it cuz 'cher wanted me to bring something from my home country. Not only was I not supposed to bring it today, I left it in school as well. MUST FIND IT TOMORROW.!!!My parents will kill me if I don't. Or I'll kill myself. Whichever comes first. MUST REMEMBER!!! In the last period, some bleedin' chao ang moh ws throwing paper at the back of my head. In a display of eastern discipline, I didn't do a thing. After three times, I asked him to stop, politely. He threw another one at me and in a display of eastern barbarism, I cursed him in japanese. He still didn't stop so I cursed him in chinese. Then he still didn't stop but by then i had given up. PEOPLE HERE ARE IDIOTS!!!

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 9:10 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

School starting

Went to school today. 8 50 to 3 20. Fun. The humanities in this country are pretty advanced, but in Math, we did a solid 40 mins of perimeter exercises. PERIMETER. I"M IN SEC TWO AND THEY ARE GIVING ME PERIMETER! The humanities are ok, nothing I can't keep up with. Though there is a load of project work. Still, PERIMETER!?!? Argh. I was so bored today I sang songs in 4 different languages. *Sigh deeply*

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 8:33 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Simple life

Hey guess what, schools starting tomorrow. Now, for all of you who think I have been exaggerating how simple the curriculum is, let me put it this way. I am taking one year ahead. My younger brother picks up my school books and knows at least thirty percent of what is written. Except for French of course. Other than that, he knows a fair bit. I am in GEP, he isn’t. Now you know how sad the curriculum is? Back at home I hear my friends are having exams. I heard about the exam timetable and my first reaction was ‘oh man how am I going to keep up with what’s going on if what I’m doing is so backward?’ Quite frankly, I feel guilty that I get it so easy.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 9:05 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Monday, April 25, 2005

Who am I?

Today I spent my day thinking that exact same question. It all started with a dream. A very vivid one. Though it was vivid I cannot remember a thing. Something about a girl... Nope it was not anything sick. Anyway, It was so real, like I was actually living in it. I totally forgot it was a dream. It was more like a vision. Then i spent a solid hour and a half listening to Christian Rock. Two songs got me thinking. No I will not type them out, they're too long. I'll just give the titles. Both from Jars Of Clay, Boy On A String and Love Song For A Saviour. Both very nice. Both complete opposites.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 8:41 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Housework

Today I learnt what joy there is in doing household tasks. None at all. I folded clothes, mopped the floor, took out the laundry, etc... stuff like that. Yay fun. Nothing else to speak of as of now. Yup, it's THAT boring.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 10:29 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Second trip

My family went to visit a monastic town today. We went to see a museum and an art gallery. The trip has made me question my faith and the different branches therof. Why are there different branches? Why is there not just one? Once again, it reminds me of a song:
So many preachers.
So many churches and denominations.
They got their opinions,
And they got convincing statements.
But I believe, sometimes,
There's a miscommunication,
And we complicate the truth,
We convolute the story.
But as far as I recall,
I do believe it all,
Comes down to a man,
Died on the Cross,
Saving the world.
Rising from the Dead,
Doing what he said he would do.
He was loving everyone He saw,
And the reason for it all,
Comes down to a man,
Died on the Cross,
Saving the world.
There. That’s the first verse. I’m gonna be pondering on this and a few other theological problems for the days to come, until school starts and I am sufficiently occupied.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 8:41 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Friday, April 22, 2005

Still....nothing....

Spent most of the day today shopping with my mom. On the way home she missed the turn and cursed the Australian landscape saying everything is so flat she can't tell where the turn is. Other than that, the day was uneventful. As usual. Waiting for school to start. Waiting for two years to end.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 7:42 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Thursday, April 21, 2005

So...bored...

Did the usual stuff today. Chores, played a bit, listened to music, slept, moped around missing my friends... Can't wait till school starts and I finally have other stuff to do. Seriously, life was not meant to be this boring. Totally did not engage my brain today, so this is pretty much it.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 8:06 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Philosophical jargon

Today was one of the reasons why I hate this place. Yesterday it was freezing. Today it was warm. What is wrong with this country? Having seasons are bad enough without there being fluctuations in daily temperature. Am I irritated? Yes I believe so.
Spent the day listening to Christian rock. One song in particular got me thinking. "What Have We Become" by dc talk. Very angry song, with shouting and heavy metal and stuff, but the message is highly thought-provoking.

"What have we become?
A self-indulgent people.
Oh, what have we become?
Tell me where are the righteous ones.
What have we become?
In a world degenerating.
What have we become?
Speak your mind.
Look out for yourself.
The answer to it all is a life of wealth.
Grab all you can 'cause you just live once.
You got the right to do whatever you want.
What about love?
What about God?
What about holiness?
What about mercy, compassion and selflessness?
You know its true.
He was there for me and you.
Does it matter what you do?

Reminds me of a parable I heard a while ago.

A man who lives on his own is like a porcupine.
He has spines to protect himself from others who might hurt him.
But these soines also keep his friends from getting close to him.
What if all men had these spines?
How would life go on?

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 9:06 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

School coming up

Just got my books today and it looks like Im gonna sail through it. At this point, I can do nothing but hope that they cover more than just whats in their texts lest I become an idiot. Winter is coming up so I am in constant freezing pain. When I go outside, my fingers instantly become numb. I can't even play the piano without that happening. I miss rain.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 9:35 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Monday, April 18, 2005

Back to doing nothing

Well, here I am, back to doing nothing and waiting for school to start. I have learnt a lot since I arrived here, such as how to hang up laundry, how to fold clothes, how to wash and dry dishes.....stuff like that. Things that will undoubtedly come in handy in the course of my life. I have even learnt how to do them without complaining. A little something called self restraint.
I was listening through some old songs and I found one which describes my feelings towards my friends very well. The chorus goes:

I'm on the top of the world
Looking, down on Creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love I have found
Ever since you've been around
That has put me on the top of the world.

There is another song which describes my feelings towards this place very well. It's actually a cry for help. The chorus:

But if I can't swim after forty days
And my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up-when I'm falling
Lift me up- I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up-I need you to hold me
Lift me up-don't leave me to drown again.....

Well, thats all I've got to say for tonight. Oh yeah! One more thing. For those of you who are wondering over my choice of blog music, it represents the state of my soul. If I become happy I'll change it.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 8:28 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Road trip

Finally, something to talk about. For the past two days my family has been on the road doing the tourist stuff. We went to a lighthouse at the most southwestern tip of Australia. It was 108 years old and my bro was complaining all the way up. The winds at the top were FAST. Seriously. I thought I would be blown clear off. The other day was spent visiting some rather unspectacular sites. Although I did see a two foot-tall chicken. At least 70% of the trip was spent in the car, giving me ample time to think of my friends and my story. The place where we stayed for the night looked presentable, but we were scared to remove our shoes and as a result, I have been wearing my socks for the past 40 hours. My pendant was on 90% of the time. Both of them. My ring as well. I won't deny that the trip has been enjoyable, but the lack of internet meant I could not communicate with my friends. That bit sucked. And on Saturday too. Oh well, It's not going to happen again for a while, I hope

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 6:17 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Friday, April 15, 2005

Argh

I'm going on a roadtrip for the next two days. That means two things will happen. One-I'm gonna spend more time with my family. That's good. Two-I'm not gonna be on MSN to chat with my friends. That's bad. Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Now's my chance to test that claim. Nothing more to write about seeing as I'm living in the one country more dead than Hitler.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 5:03 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Random existinential babble

Last night I had the wierdest dream. Ever. I was dead. Truly dead. I felt nothing, I experienced nothing, I didn't even know I was asleep. I didn't know a thing. What does this all mean? Am I seeing the future? Am I going crazy? First I dream of my friends and then I die? I hope that does not mean that I'm trying to spend time with them before I die. Or maybe I'm reading too much into all this.
Why am I writing all this instead of what's happening in my waking hours? Quite simple. 'Cuz nothing goes on in my waking hours.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 9:46 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Dreams...

Why must I wake up? Why am I here? Why are dreams always so much better than reality? My heart searches for the answer to these questions even as I bury myself amidst the dreams. Why...
I used to dream of my friends. All of them. Together again. Laughing. Lately, I have been dreaming of individual friends. I know not the reason behind this, yet I cannot help but feel that the answers lie within me. I'm seraching for those answers. Maybe I have already found them. Maybe I'm too scared to face them.
These dreams have only gone on for the past three days. I know not the reason for the sudden change. All I know is that these dreams hurt me more than when I was among them all.
Dreams... Why do I have them? What do they mean? What are they trying to tell me? I do not know. Maybe I don't want to know.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 5:30 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Need I say more?

Hey! Whaddayouknow? Today was the same as every other day on this continent! Boring! I woke up from one of the best dreams ever and felt more drained than previously thought to be humanly possible! Go me!
When I woke up, I felt like crying. Wanna know why? Just look at my previous posts. This was the worse homesickness has ever hit me. Ever.
To describe my feelings in a word? Desperation. I used to think that people who spent their lives dreaming were losers who were to cowardly to face reality. Now I feel that I am joining their ranks. If only reality and fantasy would switch places, but I know that's impossible.
Thinking of my friends keeps me alive, cuz for them i can do things that i cant do for myself. In this case, stay alive.
Jehovah Nissi, my banner over me, protect me from myself, that I will not do anything foolish.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 7:30 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Monday, April 11, 2005

Monotony

See the title? That pretty much sums up life here. My god it is SOOOOOOOOOOOO damn boring. I cannot emphasise the word 'boring' enough. There is absolutely no change in routine in this country.
I never thought a day could drag on so long. In my free hours, which are quite a lot, I amuse myself with either books, PS2, or philosophy and theology. Yes, you read that correctly. THAT'S how much time I have. favourite subjects: What is Love? How can free will coexist with divine preordination? Stuff like that.
Of the entire day, I detest the waking hours the most. That's cuz in my dreams im back in NUSHS, where I belong, among my friends. Then I wake up and here I am in this dead land. I dread the day. I've regressed back to my former self: showing absolutely no emotion. Unless otherwise stimulated, my face looks like one belonging to a convict on death row. When I DO laugh/smile/whatever, it never lasts very long. Inside my spirit is crushed and my will and reslove are fading. The thought of my friends is the only thing that keeps me from comitting suicide.
God give me strength to survive till I return.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 8:04 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Sunday, April 10, 2005

my world is falling apart

Argh..... it is still bloody boring here. the more i chat with my friends, the more i realize that im missing out on the people i hold dear to me. The rememberance of them is grevious unto me, and they are the only things that keep me going other than the fact that i will someday return. God give me strength to survive these two years....... man..... i am seriously down right now. In fact, I look suicidal. If a genie came to me id ask for him/her/whatever to send me home. In my dreams im back with them on campus laughing and joking......damn......

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 10:49 PMÃÂ 0 comments

Friday, April 08, 2005

first impression

It is going to be a LONG two years. life here is SO boring. Its going to be a while before I get used to life here. Even the water tastes different..Things im going to miss:

My mei
My friends
My grandma's chili sauce
My school
The sound of chinese, other dialects and singlish being spoken
Other skin colours apart from white
Street lamps

Man......it is going to suck....

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 9:16 PMÃÂ 0 comments