Whee, mom yelling at me. Fun. Says I'm antisocial and that its sad that after two years here I will have nothing to show for it, relationship wise. She's right. No photos, nothing but memories that will probably fade.
Meh, I want it that way.
I don't want to be bogged down by memories of people I'll never see again.
I don't want pictures reminding me of good times I'll never get back.
I don't want to be caught up in the past.
It's a waste of my time and it serves no purpose. I'll graduate from here, say my goodbyes, fly back him and be bloody happier for it. I'm not going to make friends for the sake of making friends. What the hell is the point of that? I said before I don't want to make any bosom chums that I can't do without because I don't ever plan on coming back here. It's hard to love a country when your feet bloody freeze for half the year.
These people are friendly. Too friendly for my taste. Because they are superficial in the way they view their friends. Random person I see everyday at school and who I happen to talk to everyday yay. Pfft. My friends are people who I love and cherish, who I'd risk my neck saving them from whatever hell comes crashing down. I don't want to make any of those friends are here. I talk to everyone at home over msn, sharing in their problems and triumphs, but only verbally. I can't solve their problems and cant truly appreciate their triumphs because I'm not there. I hate being like that. I detest being away from them and I don't want to make this kind of friend in other countries because then I will feel this way all my life. It's messed up.
Understand that my being antisocial is not because I want to be, is because I feel I need to be. For the sake of my own emotions I cannot let anything here weigh me down or else there is going to be this big gaping hole in my heart that will forever be void unless I can see them again. I already feel that way right now, let me get it cured without it happening to my with someone else.
My heart is like a jigsaw. Only a certain piece will ever be able to take a certain place. New friends never replace the old. Old friends are never forgotten. Based on that, I didn't have many true friends in primary school, compared with the number of people I actually talked to, but meh, It worked out just fine.
And by the way, I didn't like the ball. All that hype was for nothing. If I didn't go, I wouldn't have missed anything. Really. I'm not being bitter, it just had nothing really for me.
By the way, quotable quote: "Don't ask me why I love you. Ask you."
