[[ ` for y0[u] are * w[i]th me ]]

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Hols have started. Meh. Went out for a drive, barely 2 30 and people are already getting drunk. No comment.

Quote: It's a strange thing, but whenever I swear I end up sounding like Billy Connolly. - Schoolfriend

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 4:37 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Friday, September 22, 2006

Myeh.

B&V exam. Made shit up. Seriously, did you expect anything else?

Quote of the day: No, I don't understand the way women think! It comes with having a penis!

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 5:43 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Meh

Shinta had his cry. First time in a long while. Point is, he feels better now. Not over it though. Hopefully, never will be.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 5:40 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Lifeless

Shin-chan is lying on his bed now. The lights are on. He's in his pyjamas and lying belly up, his face to the right.

And his eyes are lifeless.

He's not crying. He never does. And that's the problem.

No, he doesn't feel like talking.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 3:56 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Whee

Went up in a biplane today. Damn it was bloody cold, but hell, I enjoyed myself.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 6:42 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Swordity

I brought a katana to school today. It was for a presentation on The Last Samurai. Yes, I do have a flair for the old melodrama.

If you can tell me who said that, well, you get nothing because I ran out of cookies.

Broke into chem class again because a friend had never seen me do it before and wanted to see. A button broke off. Oh well, I never button up my jacket anyway.

Had a nice intelligent conversation on why people try to be cool and why they so horribly aren't, and how its pointless to turn up to worship if your heart's not into it.

Asked cher a question. Does Satan have control over his dark power, or does God just let him? I think He lets the poor bastard.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 5:40 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

On the path to healing?

I'm not Catholic, but this post is going to be something of a confession.

Apparently the bastards have been given a talking to and its their final warning. Meh. I wanted blood, so it is just a bit of a dissappointment.

I hate them for acting the way they did for two simple reasons: they have neither respect nor honour. They did not listen when I told them to stop, and that's a lack of respect, and they attacked from behind. Only cowards would attack in groups from behind.

They asked me to forgive them, saying they were only playing around. Well guess what jackass? I'm not bloody laughing. Take your shit somewhere else, because I'm not buying it. Back there is the line, and on Monday, there was you asses crossing the bloody line.

Honestly, there is nothing I would love better than for them to be called up on stage during assembly, to be tied down and for me to give them a thrashing with a stick. That's the problem with vengeance. It won't settle for someone else picking up the slack for you. I want HIS blood on MY hands. Selfish.

I know that won't happen anytime soon. I also know that I probably won't stand up to them in a fight, let alone all of them. Still, there is one weapon I have to use against them, and that's my words. So that's exactly what I'm going to use against them.

Incidentally, my sin is Pride. Its a roundabout, hidden sort of pride. I'm slamming dc Talk through my speakers right now, and nothing soothes me quite like some Christian rock, so right now I'm feeling pretty good. I'll probably forgive them for pissing me off, but I don't think its for me to forgive them for their lack of respect or honour. Where's the pride? Well, I'm not going to ever let them know if I ever do forgive them. I want to keep up this charade of unforgiveness. Because I'm a proud little ass. And because I don't want them to EVER think that we're cool. No, we're not. We never will be. I'm not one of your gayfuck homeboys and not going to be anytime soon. Here's how it goes. You stay there and I won't interfere with whatever the hell kind of shit you deal with, and I stay here and you stay the fuck out of my life.

Side note, I have had the dream of me finding them hanging off a cliff, and I help them up, grin evilly and kick them off.

Fear!

Anyway, the combination of my mom and my music is telling me to let this go, so I'll try. I'll still give them the Gaze of Death in the corridors and speak with an acid tone if ever the situation arises, maybe throw in some iambic pentameter. But I'll try and let this go. If they try it again however, I will make bloody well sure that cher goes through with his threat to expel them all.

Meh. Letting go.

Side note, my second sin is Wrath. Go figure.

Extra side note, I pray they NEVER find this site.

Shin-chan has smiled at least once since then. That's probably our queue to not be angry.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 5:02 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Monday, September 11, 2006

The unforgiving heart

Today... well today was the kind of day that causes more frequent occurence of daydreams involving me turning into a demi-god wielding near limitless power. Like controling fire or lightning, or maybe even just being able to induce horrific delusions and illusions. Yes, very very constructive thinking. This is why I do science. So I can one day implant either an extremely powerful taser or flamethrower in my arm. Then again, why stop at either?

I'm not the best, or most Godly man. No surprise there. So it should come as no surprise that I managed to lose my temper today. During lunch, I was talking to a friend. I had a question; does pride know its own limits? We were in the middle of discussion when suddenly some Year 10s come up and slap me on the ass. I told them not to do that again. Well fine, I swore a bit more than that. Anyway, they do it again. I lash out and punch the nearest of them, be he innocent or not. Again, they pull off their gay molestation, so then I dash after the fucktard halfway across the school before finally catching him. I don't know why, but I didn't hurt him. I just asked him "What the hell?" and walked off, back to my friend. Then they pull their shit again, so this time I really snap and grab my friends cricket bat and go off in hot pursuit with every intent of beating him until I get expelled. That never happens. His fatass friend wrenched the bat out of my hands.

Sorry, but I just have a thing with people touching my ass. Right now, I want more than anything to rip them to pieces, slowly, have them burn, screaming for mercy that I won't give. Anything, as long as they suffer. I want to yell. I did in school. Several curses. Actually, I said under my breath "May worms feed on your testicles."

If I can't have them suffer, I at least want them expelled.

Yes, I can be very vengeful. My heart doesnt forgive easily. Too bad my body can't gain vengeance. Then again, I shouldn't be a vigilante. I'm in self-destructive mode now. Bleeding might actually make me feel better. Bleeding them would send me into a state of demonis euphoria.

As you can see, my anger is implosive. Now just crossed the line and all my demons are coming out. Except that I didn't let them. I didn't get to express my rage.

Yes, I will report it to a cher. Under my friend's advice. Apparently its under bullying, and those bastards are older than me. I'm a petty spiteful bitch. Right now I could look into their eyes and say with conviction and perfect honesty that I hope we both get thrown into hell, just so I could see them suffer.

Am I sick? Maybe. From blackbirds are blackbirds borne. Am I a sick boy, or just a sick mind given rise from a sick world? I don't claim to be unaffected by the world at large, and neither should I. Whose fault is it then?

Right now, I would love to be able to cause either mental or physical scarring on them. Preferably the first.

The little boy inside me. My innocence, my wisdom. Shinta. He's curled into a corner right now, with my other voices trying to comfort him. Shin-chan is crying.

The last time he did was when my great grandmother died.

As a side note, msn won't work and my Monday night TV shows have been cancelled in place of a 9/11 tribute. Yeah, not in the mood to feel for the masses right now. Today just isn't my day.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 4:38 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Status report

My mistake people. She's 7.

Met her again at badminton. She's talking now, which may be a good thing. Either way, I'm just waiting.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 5:48 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Friday, September 08, 2006

Funkiness

Okay, stagnant for a while so I've got some stuff.

First up, watched Lurhman's version of Romeo and Juliet. I am now in love with that stupid play and have memorised to prologue to act 1. Whee.

Next, wore a paperclip bracelet to school. There are marks on my arm because it was tight. No, don't ask.

Anniversary thing. I performed. Yay. My hand is now covered in girl's signatures. Hey, as long as they're not trying to take a stab at my balls, I'm alright with it.

Funky thing. I hurt a girl's feelings because I hung out with other girls and apparently I'm "not allowed to talk to anyone except her." Seriously, some notice would have been nice. Take this message to heart girls. Guys are thick bastards so make sure you tell them what you expect from them. Guys too. Talk a bit or else shit like this happens, where 6 year olds accuse you of being unfaithful.

Incidentally, I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE!!!

Yeah, I see myself more as a babysitter.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 10:37 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Meh.

I was forced to play gridiron today. Notice the lack of capital letter, denoting my lack of respect for the activity. Notice also how I do not refer to it as a sport.

Basically it's like American football. Part of my soul died, and my hatred for it has only been compounded. And I have a bloody headache thanks to it. Yes, I am once again being pissy.

Quote of yesterday: It scares me that we live in a world where Hollywood has stooped to the level of Congress.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 6:15 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Monday, September 04, 2006

I'm going blind.

Today, a girl flashed me. Yeah. I don't know either.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 4:51 AMÃÂ 0 comments

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Bitchfit

Celebrated Father's day. Somewhere on the road, a glass shard punctured one of the tyres. Damn you all and your cheap beer bottles which are smashed by the roadside. For a country that walks outside in bare feet, they don't do much for keeping it clean.

Even worse, the tyre shops weren't open. What the hell? We're not allowed to get punctures on a Sunday? Who the hell closes up on a Sunday? Its the weekend dammit, people go shopping. They aren't gonna spend all damn day in church, so why aren't you open? Stupid country with its stupid work ethic and stupid business acumen.

Yes, I am being pissy just because the day was ruined. Get over it.

*gor* prayedÃÂ @ 5:38 AMÃÂ 0 comments