Funness
Whee. There was rain today. Happiness. Rain always puts me in a good mood, particularly if it's stormy. So that's one good thing. A friend of mine stripped down to a singlet and boxers and ran across an uncovered walkway in the rain for $5. He undercharges. Pity we couldn't get a photo.
Bad thing: left my calculator and lunch box in school. I pray some asshole hasn't stolen them.
Funny thing: Got an email asking for my presence at "powerhouse", some Pentecostal ra-ra worship kind of thing. Not my cup of tea, so, just because I could, I replied with great pomp and verbosity. Below is the email I received, followed by my response, word for word, typos included. Enjoy.
Hey DaRRYL....u should really come to PowerHouse or prayer meeting coz ur sensational spiritual effect would be great!!!!!
Bee
To whomever it may concern:
The party of whom the recipience of this electronic mail coincides with does not believe and/or is willing to succumb to the wanton self depreciating nature of the myriad devices employed during the aforementioned "prayer meeting" whose effectual deceit extends so far as to refer to itself as the embodiment of that which is in the language of humans so shallowly referred to as "worship" neither is he conducive to the idea of allowing his conscience and aural sensory devices(biological or otherwise) to be so greatly assualted by the entity known as "planetshakers". To this effect, he does humbly request that his electronic mail server no longer be bombarded with such simpleminded requests as these. The act of "worship", as it is so named by persons such as yourself, is merely the act of harnessing the collective vocal and kinetic power of all parties present towards the ideal of creating as many negative externalities as possible; a truly noble endeavour. What passes for worship, and indeed, Christianity in general, in modern times is, to my mind, a mere subhuman attempt at restating the word of God with the aim of crafting it to reinforce their own selfish desires such as material wealth. To use the vernacular, "prosperity preaching. In reiterateration, kindly refrain from any more such requests for my presence at such cultish gatherings until such a time as the self assessment of your basic ideals has finally occured and the need for such things is superceded. Thank you.
Sincerely yours,
The party of the recipience.
There. If I was mean, I don't care. It was worth it.
*gor* prayedÃÂ
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4:29 AMÃÂ
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